But I felt trapped in a body that I thought was working against me. It would leave me secretly shoving pills under my tongue in an unoccupied boardroom, in order to also shove my anxiety deeper where it couldn’t interfere with my productivity.
I look back now and wonder how long the universe was sending me signs. How many times did I ignore my intuition in the pursuit of following the rules? How long did I ignore the signs until they progressively grew louder and louder?
Years later, I grew to learn that your business is an extension of who you are as an individual. They are both intertwined. But it is only recently that I have realized how intertwined your personal journey and business are. Your ability to trust your own intuition and cast off the rules that don’t resonate with you, have a direct impact on the success of your business and your feeling of fulfillment.
So I am learning to lean into my intuition so it doesn’t have to scream to be heard. I am learning to trust and surrender. And I feel called to embrace my femininity. It is exhilarating and terrifying, and like a reflex, the rules like to show up in an attempt to try and keep me safe.
“Thank-you,” I tell the rules, “for your concern about my safety. But I am ready to surrender and discover my potential.”
For so long I pushed my femininity aside. The rules of my corporate past were simple, and masculine, and there was no place for intuition in the world of business. I relished in productivity. My worth became centred around my perfectionism and efficiency. The rules made me feel safe and in control.
